I can't seem to shake this weird mood I'm in. I feel mentally and emotionally numb. I can't remember the last time I felt this way. I'm bored but there's stuff to do (i.e. books to read, things to finish on my bike, more learning to do for video editing) I just can't seem to get my mind in motion. I think it's because I'm a bit stir crazy. I've been in the house a lot. The energy at work is not great right now for a multitude of reasons. As much as I love working from home, the tradeoff is not pleasant sometimes because my boss can be kind of idealistic and micro-managerial. Sometimes I miss the job at the lab. My friends there, the short commute, a place to go each day where I was respected (at least by my peers) and where I could contribute. The place I work now is different... somehow. I can't quite put my finger on it precisely. I have the respect I think. The people are nice enough. Just missing... something. A purpose? Not sure.
I think some of it is because I'm kind of lost career wise right now. I'm approaching 40 faster than I'd like and I don't have a career goal. The one I had (IT Manager for Apple) is slipping away because my IT skills are getting so rusty here and I'm starting to yearn for entrepreneurship again.
Do you ever fantasize about what it would be like to just sell everything and move to the mountains? Buy some little cabin and get your living expenses down to almost nothing so you can get by with some part time job or big savings account? Jesus. I sound more and more like a hermit every day. I really do need to get out more. Reggie came over last night to drop off a program and I talked the poor guy's ear off.
Well, school starts next week and that will help with both the purpose and the being around people more. I may look for a video production-related class or group or something too. Jeez I sound pitiful tonight. I better stop haha!
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