I Am Drained

This has been a long week for me.  I'm still trying to reconnect myself to the healthy parts of what I left here at home last Friday while leaving the unhealthy parts disconnected.  I just spoke with the man who recommended this training to me and thanked him from the bottom of my heart.  My life will never be the same.  As I said before, the challenge moving forward is to integrate what I learned into an existing set of circumstances.  When there isn't a fit, I need to change those circumstances.  When they can't be changed, I need to accept them and the outcome.

One example of a place where the rubber will meet the road is during Christmas next year.  I'll be happy with whatever everyone decides about drawing names or not drawing names.  I feel like last Christmas the drawing names thing worked out well, but I'm strong enough now to tell the family what I'll be doing, ask them not to buy me anything, and accept their gifts without any guilt if they choose to give them.  I would rather bring a different kind of gift that we can all enjoy together - right then.  Whether it be a dish or a game or something we can do as a family together.  That would be a gift of a positive memory, of a happy experience.  As the Mastercard commercial says, "Price of the game? $49.  Price of having a good time with your family?  Priceless."

So THE biggest struggle for me now is focusing on work again.  I've had distractions galore - many of them self-inflicted, some not.  Ryan is out of town until Sunday and having the house to myself is golden.

Oh before I forget, one of the blogs that's appearing on the left now entitled "Canowicakte Okhmhaka" is my brother Pierre's blog.  He's from Germany and is feeling out some new shoes with expressing himself this way.  Canowicakte means "Forest Hunter" in Souix and Okhmhaka means "Little Wolf" in Cheyenne.  I'd describe him more as a big wolf, but I mean that in stature.