Saying Goodbye to a Best Friend

How do you say goodbye to a friend who's been literally by your side for every up and down in your life for over eleven years? How do you sum up so many memories, so many happy thoughts, so many proud moments in just a blog post?

Kuma was as close to a son as I'll likely ever have. Today was his day to cross over. I knew it was coming and I knew that that wouldn't help me prepare for it. Having him put to sleep today was one of the most painful things I've ever had to do in 38 years.

For almost my entire adult life up to now, I was blessed with a dog who surpassed every expectation I ever had. He was every Akita trait all wrapped up in one dog. He was passionate, loving, protective, and beautiful on the inside and out.

Kuma taught me the meaning of unconditional love and I always looked to him as an example for how to give it. He was always there for me whether I was crying or laughing and I have always felt safe in his presence. He protected me and those I love. He tirelessly followed us throughout the house to make sure he always picked a place to lay down where he could keep a watchful eye over us.

An arduous commute home was always made better by the thought of Kuma, who would be waiting anxiously for Jesse and I to unlock the front door so he could dance around us in joy. A dance, I fear, that I took for granted and am now going to miss tremendously. One of many things that fall into that category, I'm afraid. The house seems empty without him and, for the moment, so is my heart. But as painful as today and the coming days and weeks will be, I would never trade the eleven years of happiness and companionship we've shared together to avoid it.

So I revisit the question I started with: How do you say goodbye to a friend who's been with you for eleven years? With gut-wrenching sadness, with love, with honor, with hope, with belief, with relief, with compassion, and with the understanding that he is now standing proudly with those who've left before me. Heaven has gained a gentle, loving soul today and my family and I have lost the physical reminder of it, but Kuma's memory will live on with us in our hearts.

Kuma, you and I looked into each other's eyes today and I know you understood that it was time to go. You went with strength, protecting me to the very end. Watch over me from above and help me to be strong too. I will love you from here as I always have and in that way, our friendship will continue on for all of eternity. Just the way a best friendship would.

Rest in peace, my friend.