The Balance of Power

I've come to the conclusion that stress in life is largely driven by a, perhaps perceived, loss of control over one's future. When the events, the outcome of decisions, our job, or our obligations stack up against us, they lead to an overall sense of powerlessness. Lately this has perfectly described the cause of my stress. So much sanity was riding on Wells Fargo deciding whether or not to modify my home loan. When they decided not to, I was pushed into a corner.

The decision really boiled down to this: Keep the house and face the reality of not being able to afford veterinarian appointments (of which Kisho has had far too many of recently), dental visits, new eyeglasses, new tires for my car, healthier food, sanity breaks out of the house occasionally, new clothes, Christmas gifts... (I could really go on and on) or let go of the house and reclaim the power over my present and future.

The decision has many facets - almost too many - and to get a handle on them all, I took all the numerical ones and put them in a giant spreadsheet... four of them actually. Each spreadsheet looked at the outcome of a different option. Emotions aside, this is a fairly easy mathematical decision. The financial outcomes are very different between the status quo and deciding to walk away from the house.

While I never imagined that I'd be at this place, sometimes we need to reclaim our future from our present. I'm just months away from 40. If I have any intention of retiring at a reasonable age with a reasonable income to take me through the home stretch, the decisions I make today will greatly impact that future. The wealthy investors who decided, from their ivory tower, not to modify my mortgage, don't have a concern over their retirement. It's time for me to reclaim my power. My power over my future and my power over my present.