Masculinity, ctd.

Sorry.  This topic's going to be on my brain for a bit.  I recently overheard an argument where the girlfriend was confronting the boyfriend about him cheating on her.  Well, not an argument really.  More of a monologue.  Her screaming and crying and him just sitting there because I never heard him say anything.

My heart went out to her for the pain she was feeling.  I've been her so many times.  Exhibiting emotion to an emotionless face.  Shocked, sad, stabbing pain, your mind races with images of your partner and the other person sharing something together that you thought was just between the two of you.  You're angry but sometimes that anger isn't enough to make you want to change your entire life.  I heard all of this in her voice through tears.

I rooted for her to leave because isn't that what you're "supposed" to do?  In the end, there was eventual laughter, a reconciliation, and she's staying with him.  My disappointment in her now is reflective of the disappointment in myself for staying under similar (if more frequent) circumstances.

My question to the universe (meaning you all) is this:  At what point does a man develop a principle that overcomes his desire to "sow his oats"?  At what point does "being a man" mean keeping a commitment rather than getting off with no regard to the risks or what's at stake?  Which does society seem to honor more in men?  Many women say, "Men are pigs" and when we're boys and we do mean things like beat up our little brothers, parents say, "boys will be boys".  It seems to me that this is missing the point entirely.  It lets us off the hook about what being a male should be about.  Where is it written that males need to be conquerers of others?  Where is it written that males need to be aggressive, insensitive, sexually addicted, and stoic?

Keep in mind, I understand that men's pursuit of sex is, to some degree, bred into us genetically to propagate the species.  But this is a genetic urge for sex, not for a variety in partners.  We aren't dogs.  If that urge still tugs too hard to resist, then don't settle down in a committed relationship.  Doesn't that seem obvious?  Men in this situation who do settle down want their cake and eat it too.  They want all the benefits of knowing that their partner isn't sleeping with anyone else and will be there "in sickness and in health" but they want to be able to get a little somethin' somethin' on the side when the urge hits.  That double standard is complete and utter bullshit.

I consider myself to be comfortable with my sex drive.  If the urge ever struck me to cheat in a relationship, I'd see that as a red flag that something is wrong in my relationship and would focus on the problem instead of caving in to the "fix".

I'd love to hear your thoughts.  Feel free to use the comment section.  Post anonymously if you feel more comfortable.