Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Budget Mix-Up Provides Nation's Schools With Enough Money To Properly Educate Students
The onion delivers one of their best articles this year.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Deliverance Meets Gay Pride
Guerneville, CA is a strange place that Jesse and I have really been struggling to get used to. Sort of like watching the Will Smith movie Wild Wild West and getting used to seeing robots and cowboys on screen together. As you walk through town there are subtle and not so subtle clues that being gay is ok here. These clues are badly needed because without them, you'd think a mob with torches would assemble the moment you grab your partner's hand in public. There are gay pride flags sprinkled throughout town. A set of dinnerware in a window display, available in all colors of the rainbow, are arranged as one to let you know that. The local pizza joint is run by a lesbian, the coffee shop in town has gay couples strolling about. Yet sprinkled about are some pretty shady looking characters. The kind you read about in drug pamphlets but never see. There are fairly young people here with some big drug problems. They look much older than they are. Much older. There are quite a few homeless people here too. Also sprinkled about are hitchhikers, some of whom you get the idea that they'd trade you blow for blow if you catch my drift.
Last night, Jesse and I went to the Rainbow Cattle bar just down the street from Rainbow Rentals and Rainbow Fabrics (see?). It looked like any other gay bar we've ever been to. Complete with throbbing techno music. But something just feels out of place. Like the gays are an alien race holding the straights hostage here or something. The town has two websites as if they're skating the line between quaint riverside resort town and FABULOUSSSSS!
You can walk by a sports bar downtown and you can smell the testosterone coming out of the place with disheveled-looking folks standing on the sidewalk in front looking like they're in the midst of a drug deal and you're interrupting that would fit right in, say, in front of a seedy bar in Modesto. Then turn a corner and an older gay couple with an adopted black kid will be strolling down the street. It's jarring. I wish I knew someone that lived here who I could ask about the history and the strange double message coming from the place. They really should consider changing the name from Guerneville to Sybil.
I guess what I'm saying is, I can't tell whether the gays are tolerating the straights here or vice versa - or if toleration isn't even needed. Perhaps it's complete blissful acceptance. I've not seen a mean mug once since I've been here - even from the druggies. It makes me wonder what it'd be like to grow up here as a teenager - gay or straight. According to the 2010 census, there are a couple hundred kids 16 and under but none 17 or 18. That tells me that kids get their license and use it to get the hell out of here. The majority of the population falls between 30 and 60.
Could I see retiring here? Maybe. The place we're staying is certainly beautiful. I'd like to spend more time here first and I'd definitely have to find that local citizen to get the lowdown on the town. Until then, Jesse and I have one ear on the techno music and one listening out for the Deliverance theme.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Picture of the Day
PRICELESS! I'm still laughing.
From Tosh.O with the caption: "Don't teach her English or she'll have to walk around shirtless."
From Tosh.O with the caption: "Don't teach her English or she'll have to walk around shirtless."
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Dear Red States...
[This was a post on Craigslist. Not sure how much longer it will be hosted there so I'm reposting it here for posterity...]
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States
Dear Red States...
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly:
- You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
- We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
- We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
- We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
- We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
- We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
- get Alabama.
- We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
- pay their fair share.
- Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
The CNN Interview That Never Happened - The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan
HAHA! Goes along with my earlier post about Mrs. Palin
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Marriage the way God Intended
This is totally worth watching... Click on the video once to start playing and again while it's playing to watch it on YouTube since my blog tends to chop off sizes and I'm too lazy to fix it.
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