The Convenience of Emotion

It occurred to me today as I was writing a rather long, and somewhat bitter email to someone, that some people stuff emotion away because it's not convenient. I suppose to some degree, this is a survival tactic for human evolution. I mean, if a car crashes right by you, you need to suspend your fear and sorrow and try to rescue the injured. The key word is suspend. In the end, there is no escaping the emotion. At some point afterwards, if that emotion doesn't find an obvious escape, it will trickle out into your life in other ways. Drug use, fighting with your spouse, hating your job, etc. If you suffer a childhood emotional trauma, the emotion from that can riddle your entire life with negative behaviors, emotions, and false beliefs about yourself unless you find a way to get it out somehow.

Some people have become experts at suppressing emotions. They think they are effectively crushing the emotions. It feels powerful because they see others "suffering" through emotions and they feel strong because they aren't having to deal with the emotions. In reality, people like this are typically ticking emotional time bombs. They overreact in other situations when the emotions finally bubble over. This is the classic say nothing, say nothing, say nothing, explode verbally or physically reaction. It's not healthy at all. In fact, to the recipients of this, it's emotional terrorism. They get the elephant gun when a .22 pistol would do the job.

The other stuffing, the sadness kind, lends itself to negative thinking, to uncontrolled crying when it finally bubbles over. Sadness that way exceeds what the situation would normally call forth. Depression (which is more of a constant dull ache rather than the sharp, temporary pain of sadness) is a common problem with people who stuff away sadness.

I have learned this both academically but also through life experience. It's taught me to pay close attention to my feelings. To express them somehow and not be ashamed of them. Even when it's not "convenient" for me to have them. Even when it seems that others might judge me for them. In the end, I'm smiling, feeling stronger and more relaxed, and am experiencing much less stress. How could that not be worth it?