What I Want

Joe asked me to write down what I want in a man so it's clear for me. I know that it's unrealistic to expect any one man to possess all of these traits all the time, but I'd settle for most of them most of the time with a few "must haves". I decided to put it out here on my blog.

• Be younger than me. I don't know why and I stopped caring why. It's what I want. They don't have to be 18, but the older they are and the younger they look the better. Most of that attraction for me is in the face.
• Be a good communicator. It matters less to me what's going on inside my partner than that he can freely identify it and communicate it. No one is free of baggage and character flaws. I just want to be able to talk about it.
• Be honest. With himself and with me. About everything. Especially the things that are easier to lie about.
• Be on a journey. To take joy in figuring out how to be a better human being by their own standards (not mine or society's). Meaning, I don't want a Sean clone. I want someone who is who they are and has their finger firmly on the pulse of who they are and enjoys tweaking their volume controls, so to speak.
• Be so attracted to each other (physically and mentally) that when we are away from each other, we miss each other and can't wait to see the other. I think this dynamic is a bit easier to achieve in a gay relationship because two men or two women generally like to do the same things so it's not the typical "wife in the store, husband sitting on a bench patiently waiting for her to come out" thing.
• Outgoing, but not abrasive. Someone who truly listens to others with interest and isn't afraid to spark conversation if it's seeming dry. Reggie is really good at this, for example. This character trait is easy to show off to friends and family and it always makes it a joy to present your partner to anyone because they are usually well-liked.
• Altruistic and selfless. Someone who recognizes that they receive when they give but isn't a complete doormat.
• Someone who appreciates social settings but also values quiet time - either alone or with me.

I think that's it. I guess it seems like a tall order, but I feel good about it. So there it is for posterity.