My Evil Side

Ok, it comes out every once in a while. So I was in my car coming home yesterday afternoon and I come up on a white van with a big "Yes on Prop 8" sticker in the back window. The guy driving, who's fertility must be legendary, has his family of eight* in tow and turns his blinker on to come over to the slow lane as I'm coming up on his right. He decides I'm too close and waits for me to pass on his right.

My suspicion is that he's going for my exit so I decided to come up slowly, let the entire family see my gay pride sticker on the back window, then I sat there on his right. When he slowed, I slowed and when he sped up I sped up. Nothing too obvious, just enough to make it so he couldn't come over. I wanted his family of 12 to see a real gay person. A normal guy in his white Camry. A person that they voted to deny the right to marry. Here they are proudly proclaiming this on their car long after the measure passed. I thought about how proud this guy must be. Look at me! I've got eight kids! Look at me! I have a loving family in my white van and we're all coming back from church! Look at me! I'm going to deprive others from forming such a family if I don't agree with who they are.

Mr. Fertility, Mr. (my) Family Values missed his exit. And the last thing he saw was me taking it with my gay pride sticker on the back window and an expression on my face that said, "You haven't taken my pride away. And this isn't over yet." I can't deprive him of his right to marry, but I can deprive him of his exit and I did and it felt good.

* As an aside, I think large families are the epitome of self importance. What they say to me is, I'm not content extending my genes. My genes are so important that I need to make many children in a world that is overpopulated and having a difficult time sustaining itself. My advice for these people is they should have sex with themselves (I'd use the other phrase here, but I'll leave that up to you). At least then, it won't result in a kid.